Guys, last Thursday was real rough on me.
Like, I called my boyfriend while I was sitting in my closet in my cow suit crying kind of rough.
Midterms are hard. I wish there was a better way to put it. And yes, to a certain extent, it all boils down to whining about doing work, which is basically most people's lives, so what are college students really doing anyway?
But see, midterms are usually the first time you do anything that's a significant hunk of your grade. And, depending on professor, sometimes you haven't even taken one of their tests yet. (Personally, the "type" of test - long essay, short answer, multiple choice - is the killer for me. That's without considerations about the professor's phrasing, their grading, etc etc.) AND on top of all that, usually this is when extracurriculars pick up too. AND my mom came this weekend. All these things were kind of heavy.
I guess I'm trying to get at what INSERT LINK talked about this weekend. That so few things happening in our lives really make it on the blog. Honestly, it reminded me of what it felt like to show people photos from Europe once I got back from my study abroad. It would go something like this:
Me (speaking): Oh, and here's the photo of us in front of the museum...and here's that awesome shrimp place...and here's the view from our hostel window...
Me (internal monologue): Here's the photo ten minutes after one roommate made the other cry...here's the shrimp place that gave everyone food poisoning...here's the hostel that charged us double and had the creepy old guy who watched us sleep...
Anything that couldn't be transformed into a funny story was omitted. And a lot of times, after enough space, it would turn into a funny story. But not always. Some situations just don't get talked about - and same goes with the blog-o-sphere. Most of the time when I read about "bad things" happening to bloggers, it's usually in retrospect and with a funny twist. Rarely is it anything currently happening. Even rarer does the blogger not have some sort of positive takeaway or "lesson" to teach the readers from their situation.
Look, I know it's difficult to write about hardships. I'm afraid to come off as whiny, as priveleged, as ungrateful for the opportunities I've been given. I try each day to remind myself that it's really a blessing that I'm suffering through midterms/friend drama/health issues: I'm so lucky to go to a college that challenges me! I'm so lucky that I have friends who care so much that they argue with me! I'm so lucky that this awful sinus infection is giving me a chance to slow down and reflect!
But, you know, sometimes that doesn't work.
I guess I'm saying that I'm doing my best. And I hope you all, regardless of what's on the homepage of your blog, are doing your best as well.
Midterms are hard. Life is hard. I don't have a lesson. But I'm doing okay.